Girl, 18, Melbourne, in the after mass of a breakup.
If the weather is nice, go outside guys!
confessions, of this heart of mine
No one is going to make me happy except myself. Going out to have lunch with a friend and enjoy the beautiful sunshine.
so a couple of weeks ago you told me you wanted to try being friends
i agreed, wanting to see you. just to see your face and know that you’re okay. i wanted to know what you were doing each day. I wanted to know whether you were happy without me, always wishing that you weren’t. messed up, i know.
you always appear offline on msn, talking to people you feel like talking to, and i guess i’m not one of them. so i never get to see your face, chat to you, know what’s going on. when you offered friendship i grasped at it and felt giddy with relief that soon i’ll feel like you’re in my life again.
but since then, despite being updated on when i’m free to catch up, you never followed through.
its sad that even after we’re no longer together, you can still do this to me: bring me up and then knock me down.
i told you to let me go. but if you move on, i think it might hurt so much that i will die. am i been melodramatic? i don’t know.
“ Whatever you choose, whether its to be on your own, or to be with the new boy, or to be with me, you’ll be okay. But i hope you choose me. ”
M
- j:
- "it was just so hard! you upset me so much. always analysing me, being condescending."
- m:
- "i was just trying to help"
- j:
- "i know, but it hurts when you do that. sometimes, i just want empathy. For someone to say 'Naw, that's really shit'"
- m:
- "okay."
- j:
- "things with A is just so easy, he makes things simple"
- m:
- "its the honeymoon period."
and the colours bleed, into my words and my thoughts, until i’m desperate for a distraction. I found him, the perfect distraction, the perfect boy.
but i have to confess, everything i do is still stitched with your colour. the nights, they are the hardest.
there was a reason i left him
it was because he hurt me too much. never intentional, of course. in fact, he wanted so much to make me happy. for ages i wished that that was enough, that love was enough.
but actions and words carry more weight than what he wanted to be.
you hurt me and i couldn’t bear it.
the reason this tumblr exists, is so i can let out the things i feel since we broke up.
i know i was the one that broke up with you. but it doesn’t make it any less easy, nor does it make me any less lost. bottom line is, i miss him.
